I'm a Big Girl Now

Fear. Sometimes it positively paralyses me. Do I believe God is with me ? Psalms 55 With all my heart! But are there times when I am so frightened that I can't move? yes. Have I always been this way? No. When I was young and stupid I knew no fear. That is probably true of most people. There was a couple of times when the girls were growing up when they were not where they were supposed to be that I felt this kind of fear. Of course when Daddy was diagnosed with cancer, and died ,I felt it. But since the morning I woke up not being able to find my left side it has happened more often. It's a brain thing and I'm aware of that. But that knowledge doesn't help me in the least. Don being in the Philippines has a tendency to magnify my fear as he is my security blanket. Sunday I came home from Mommas' and to do that I had to drive over a very BIG mountain. Monteagle The trip was a breeze - no problems. Monday I drive into Chattanooga. Something I do quite often. Going over Missionary Ridge the car starts acting like I have a flat tire. I was looking for a place to pull over when it goes back to going the right speed. So I keep going because I'm close to where I'm going. Get to the road the restaurant is on and it starts acting like its going to quit. You understand I'm on a very busy road in lunch time traffic. Cars are flying around me, the car quits about 25 yards from the restaurant. I panic. What am I going to do? So I start praying and trying to get it back started. It &stayed started for about 5 seconds at time. Finally inched it into the parking lot without getting hit. Thank-you Lord! And a special shout out to Bill & Margie Newby for being friends in deed and coming to my rescue. To make a long story short, We get it to the same shop our other car has been in for a week. They just finished getting it running. Great! I can take it . Just got to pay for it. Panic again! Give Him a Check to hold until Don comes home. Then go sit in Krystal for 2 hours with the computer to try to get a hold of Don to find out what to do. Unfortunately their Internet was down and couldn't reach him for 3 days. You know what? God was with me, and I lived through it. As God told Joshua after Moses died in Joshua 1:5&6 He will never leave Joshua nor Forsake Him if He stays in obedience to His Will. Do you Suppose Joshua ever felt panic. ?Probably some times. In that same chapter God tells Joshua to "be strong and of good courage" 3 times . Is being strong & courageous the lack of fear? I think not. I think its perseverance through the panic. The fact that this happened in familiar surroundings with friends close by to help ,when it could have happened the day before on a much higher mountain an hour from home is proof God is with me & answered my prayers .So yes, I'm a big girl now even tho Don is in the Philippines. God and I can handle it. God doesn't need me, But I definitely need Him!!!